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A type of indie pop that is known for simple, sweet melodies and lyrics, often combined with jangling guitars; twee is also British slang for something almost sickenly sweet. I concur!
Which then made me decide that instead of complaining today, I am going to give praise to friendship. Because today, friendship made me feel on top of Mars. If Mars was an awesome place to be that is. Speaking of, it has been decided that everything is cooler in outerspace. Well, decided by myself. Though it did take some convincing to this friend that it was.
When I was explaining to him how someone sure looks pretty cool playing a guitar, but wouldn't they look cool doing it.....IN OUTERSPACE???? He thought it sounded like a pain in the space suited ass. Until I explained, NO, I mean you don't need a space suit!! Then he said, AHHH I get it! So I can shred guitar in my people clothes to the tune of AC/DC while flames lick up around me and everyone cheers and we don't even need the proper breathing apparatus? Everything IS cooler in SPACE!!!!!
How did I meet Travis? At a bar of course! Until recently, he was in my phone as Travis Twilight Bone. Because I was drunk when I met him and I was at the Twilight bar. I was outside being harassed by a panoply of overly annoyingly drunk patrons that were out like a gang of cockroaches that night. The first couple had to let me know I looked like Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Spiderman (NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE RIGHT?) and normally I say, oh yeah I get that a lot, but this one could not let it go. She kept yelling MARY JAAAAAANE! MARY JAAAANE! Then some other dude came out and wouldn't let up with the annoying things that humans do.
Travis came out for a cigarette, I told him I was pretty sure I had met him before, and then he immediately jumped in with the let's make fun of drunk annoying strangers and see if they notice it banter. It was amazing. And enjoyable to find someone who didn't think I was an asshole for not having the patience to put up with blatantly annoying and ignorant drunks. We exchanged numbers, and then became buddies after.
He is not only a very talented poster maker, go look at his site! He makes posters for prolific artists, and some that are not so prolific but they are good men, they pay hiz billz. http://furturtle.com/
So I just got distracted there, but he is not only a very talented ARTISTE, he is one of my favorite people that I have ever met in my lifetime. He doesn't get offended by my crass humor, he actually joins in, instigates, or starts it. He may not know this, but when I was beyond sick and beyond poor (please see that I am still beyond poor) he would call me up and take me out to lunch. He literally kept me fed.
Sometimes we both get busy. Or caught up in life. But he always texts me out of the blue and says, "Let's not fight anymore. I miss you. Let's go eat." "Why are we texting right now? I want to text with mouths" Or, "We are terrible people, aren't we? Why are we not hanging out?"
When he got me to go to South By Southwest in Austin last March, it was such a fun trip that I never ever ever otherwise would have done had I not known him. I remember waking up the day before we were to go home in the throes of the WORST hangover I had ever experienced in my life, covered in bruises, full of a pounding in my head, wobbly, on two hours of sleep and still covered in makeup the night before, lying on the hotel couch trying not to throw up the nothing that was left in my stomach, and he was walking around singing Southern Man and playing guitar in an overly exaggerated Neil Youngesque voice. And I was laughing my ASS off as I drifted in and out of sleep. I haven't laughed so hard with that bad of a hangover ever.
He is also the only friend that has laughed so hard that we were BAWLING in a hotel room bed staring at a photo of a monkey wearing people that was vomiting while a man patted it on the back and someone in the background took a picture. We laughed about it for hours and hours later. He GETS my humor. I love it.
Today we went out to lunch at the Busy Bee which is a garlic burger place/bar and had some burgers and beer. He looked at the picture of the Busy Bee on the wall and said, "I am scared of that bee. I am pretty sure it is going to rape me. Look how menacing it is with that Bud Light in its hand and its grin. I spat in laughter. We were trying to figure out if it was a pack of bees, a hive of bees, a gaggle of bees or what if they were to gang up on you and R you. We then coined the term Stangbang. We are terrible. But funny. Look at the bee though!!!
We decided that we were going to start a relationship advice column. Two of our ideas today were:
Trying to get over your ex-girlfriend? There's hope. Go out and get yourself a sweet looking little puppy to keep you company. Name it after your ex-girlfriend. Then proceed to stab it to death.
Need to feel a bit vindicated after getting your heart broken? This is a surefire trick that works every time to help you not only feel closer to her after the breakup, but also works wonders for your hurt feelings. Go to your ex-girlfriend's house, have a nice talk with her. Stab her to death, cut her face off, wear it as a mask, and then kill her whole family wearing said mask.
Then we concluded that may not be a good idea due to people maybe actually taking our advice.
After burgers we left to get some bubble tea. A guilty wonderful pleasure for both of us. As he got his and took a sip, he said, "Goddamn this is made out of the jizz of angels."
The Barista working frowned the WHOLE time while we had this conversation casually as though maybe this is really something to be considered when I said, well what kind of Angel jizz is it? Is it masturbation jizz, sex jizz, or wet dream jizz?
He retorted with, "Pssh angels don't need to have wet dreams, are you kidding me they get laid SO much up in heaven. I was like you don't choose wet dreams, they just happen, maybe they don't need to masturbate though."
As I attempted to pay for lunch earlier, he would not let me. He tried to pay for tea and threw his card down, and with all of my cat-like reflexes I do not possess, I swiped it and put it in my back pocket. He said "NO that was not fair give it back!!!!"
I said, "You can't get it back because it is in my back pocket, the Barista has my cash, and if you try to get card out of my pocket that is sexual harassment and I am suing." He sat there helpless, and the Barista continued her permanent scowl as she took my money.
I could tell more tales praising Travis, but this was literally an hour or two of our day, and I am still leaving out all of the other things we talked about, had fun about, chortled over, and it would take me a book to include the other amazing lunches we have been on, best ofs of my trip with him, and all of the porch time we have had while drinking beer.
So I am just going to include a video of Southern Man at the bottom here, and be grateful from the bottom of my mopey little heart that I have such a wonderful friend in my life that brings in some twisted sunshine into my days.
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